The Ruths have done a lot of damage.
I can’t tell you what the last week has been like.
My most recent blog focused on Baby Ruth and Super Senior Ruth and how they conspired to have me get rid of a really big chunk of my wardrobe.
I would never have guessed there would be such an outpouring of sympathy from readers of this blog. Would you believe sympathy cards have poured in from across America from people who realize what these two women have done?
What’s the big deal about pleated pants? I always thought I dressed well. Now, I find out I have been an embarrassment to what’s left of our family’s good name. What kind of thing is that to spring on somebody who’s 83?
I want to thank everyone who sent a card. I especially want to thank those who sent cash. This will help to cover the cost of new “pleat-free” pants. I’m looking at a dozen, maybe 15 pair - and replacing them was going to force me to dip into my 401k. Now, that will not be necessary.
One of the scariest things about the last week is that I am evolving into Ruth Man. I find myself starting to look at the potential to throw a lot of things out. This week, on my own and with no help from Super Senior Ruth and Baby Ruth, I have thrown out lots of additional pants, plus many of my beloved rugby shirts. With regard to those shirts, I decided - without any outside consultation - that yellow and brown marks on the collars are just not a good look. Who knew I could have such solid fashion sense after the pleats fiasco?
But beyond that - and increasingly each day - I am looking at everything I own as a candidate to be tossed. Especially if an item is just eating up space and has no useful reason to remain with us.
Here’s an example. I have complained for years about the challenges of getting two cars into a very tight garage. A couple of months ago, Super Senior Ruth got a fine new SUV. The problem is that it’s a space eater and I can no longer justify having it around. It simply has to go. I am open to bids if you want this vehicle. Yes, this is part of my “get even” for the pleated pants, but I am driven by my steadily increasing Ruthlessness to dump it. It’s the right thing to do. If you happen to run into Super Senior Ruth, please don’t mention this. No point rubbing her nose in it yet.
Then there is my jacket from the 1997 NBA All-Star Game held in Cleveland and coming back in February. Despite being a front hall closet space eater, there are a few things I just can’t toss. Karen’s car yes, but not my All-Star Game jacket. Even I - Ruth Man - am still able to draw the line when I need to do so.
One final thought. I want to be fair to myself, but I don’t want to attract attention from the I.R.S. I intend to claim a $29,312 tax deduction for all the Ruth-related stuff that has gone to charity in the last week or two. I think that is fair. I believe by claiming a precise number they will see I have bent over backwards to be accurate.
I wish all my loyal readers a Ruthless week.
DY: In Just a Few Words is a blog that comes out when something needs to be said or every Tuesday - whichever comes first. Davis Young is a communications professional who adds 50+ years of experience and perspective to issues of the day. His emphasis in DY: In Just a Few Words will be humor (a touch of sarcasm here, a pinch of facetiousness there...). Once in a while, he will touch on something a bit more serious - but hopefully not too deep or depressing.
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