DY: In Just a Few Words (#44)

No one told me it was this complicated.

Recently, my first wife, who is still my wife after 59+ years, got a carry-out box from a restaurant for the half of her dinner she had not yet eaten. Usually, when this happens, the leftovers sit in the fridge for a few days, after which she says something like this: I let them go too long. I’m going to toss them. I should stop bringing food home like that.

But this time was different. Since she still had relatively new leftovers (if there is such a thing), we had agreed I would make my own dinner while she chomped down on some sort of chicken thing that was past its prime.

My moment of truth had arrived.

What do we have?, I asked.

She responded, There’s some meatballs in the freezer. Also, some sauce. And I think we have some spaghetti noodles in the pantry.

Back to me: What do I do with the noodles?

Boil up some water and put the noodles in it.

How much water do I need to boil?

Helpful as always, she said: Enough for the spaghetti. You’ll know it when you see it.

OK. And should I microwave the meatballs and, if so, how long?

Start with a minute-and-a-half and see how they’re doing.

And the frozen sauce. Microwave that, too?

Yep.

How long?

Hard to tell. Start at two minutes.

I was making progress. The meatballs did fine. However, the sauce was still pretty frozen, so I said, I still have to microwave the sauce some more. Once again I asked, How long should I do that?

See what happens if you do another minute. Remember to get out a colander to drain the noodles.

A what? Did you say I need a calendar? I thought you just said another minute. Now we’re looking at days? That’s ridiculous. I’m hungry.

I said colander, not calendar. It’s like a strainer sort of thing to get rid of the water.

Me: How dumb is that. Get a bunch of water in a pan and then just get rid of it. No wonder our water bill is so high. It’s just drip, drip, drip. I dropped the drip and switched gears. I’m gonna want a salad. What do we have for that and where would I find it?

Try the fridge for lettuce, tomato, avocado, onion and you already have 11 different salad dressings, so just pick one.

What dressing do I like best? You know what I like best.

No I don’t. Pick your own salad dressing.

Me: Have you seen my wine?

It’s right in front of you on the counter.

You’re right. If it was a snake, it would have bitten me.

We finally sat down to eat.

Wife: What are you most thankful for today?

Me: Your good cooking. I will never, ever complain about anything again. I am emotionally drained, just like the spaghetti. You are the best cook ever.

To my blog readers, this was a humbling experience. It takes a big person to admit they’re a helpless male, doncha think?

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DY: In Just a Few Words is a blog that comes out when something needs to be said or every Tuesday - whichever comes first. Davis Young is a communications professional who adds 50+ years of experience and perspective to issues of the day. His emphasis in DY: In Just a Few Words will be humor (a touch of sarcasm here, a pinch of facetiousness there...). Once in a while, he will touch on something a bit more serious - but hopefully not too deep or depressing.

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