DY: In Just a Few Words (#44)
No one told me it was this complicated.
Recently, my first wife, who is still my wife after 59+ years, got a carry-out box from a restaurant for the half of her dinner she had not yet eaten. Usually, when this happens, the leftovers sit in the fridge for a few days, after which she says something like this: I let them go too long. I’m going to toss them. I should stop bringing food home like that.
But this time was different. Since she still had relatively new leftovers (if there is such a thing), we had agreed I would make my own dinner while she chomped down on some sort of chicken thing that was past its prime.
My moment of truth had arrived.
What do we have?, I asked.
She responded, There’s some meatballs in the freezer. Also, some sauce. And I think we have some spaghetti noodles in the pantry.
Back to me: What do I do with the noodles?
Boil up some water and put the noodles in it.
How much water do I need to boil?
Helpful as always, she said: Enough for the spaghetti. You’ll know it when you see it.
OK. And should I microwave the meatballs and, if so, how long?
Start with a minute-and-a-half and see how they’re doing.
And the frozen sauce. Microwave that, too?
Hard to tell. Start at two minutes.
I was making progress. The meatballs did fine. However, the sauce was still pretty frozen, so I said, I still have to microwave the sauce some more. Once again I asked, How long should I do that?
See what happens if you do another minute. Remember to get out a colander to drain the noodles.
A what? Did you say I need a calendar? I thought you just said another minute. Now we’re looking at days? That’s ridiculous. I’m hungry.
I said colander, not calendar. It’s like a strainer sort of thing to get rid of the water.
Me: How dumb is that. Get a bunch of water in a pan and then just get rid of it. No wonder our water bill is so high. It’s just drip, drip, drip. I dropped the drip and switched gears. I’m gonna want a salad. What do we have for that and where would I find it?
Try the fridge for lettuce, tomato, avocado, onion and you already have 11 different salad dressings, so just pick one.
What dressing do I like best? You know what I like best.
No I don’t. Pick your own salad dressing.
Me: Have you seen my wine?
It’s right in front of you on the counter.
You’re right. If it was a snake, it would have bitten me.
We finally sat down to eat.
Wife: What are you most thankful for today?
Me: Your good cooking. I will never, ever complain about anything again. I am emotionally drained, just like the spaghetti. You are the best cook ever.
To my blog readers, this was a humbling experience. It takes a big person to admit they’re a helpless male, doncha think?
DY: In Just a Few Words is a blog that comes out when something needs to be said or every Tuesday - whichever comes first. Davis Young is a communications professional who adds 50+ years of experience and perspective to issues of the day. His emphasis in DY: In Just a Few Words will be humor (a touch of sarcasm here, a pinch of facetiousness there...). Once in a while, he will touch on something a bit more serious - but hopefully not too deep or depressing.
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